


I Recall A Special Friend, I Invited Her Home For Tea

by tomorrowisyourluckyday



Category: Elastica
Genre: Britpop, F/F, F/M, References to Alcohol, References to Drugs, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:56:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomorrowisyourluckyday/pseuds/tomorrowisyourluckyday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bored with her relationship with Damon Albarn and the hours she spends "hanging out" with his bandmates, Justine Frischmann confides in her bandmate, Donna, and further events ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Recall A Special Friend, I Invited Her Home For Tea

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. IF YOU UPSET BY REFERENCES TO DRUGS OR ALCOHOL OR DO NOT ENJOY READING SCENES INCLUDING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, IT MIGHT NOT BE A GOOD IDEA TO READ THIS.
> 
> The title comes from the song, "Love Love" by Pulp.
> 
> There is a reference to Gramon in here.

Justine woke up, starshaped, in front of a tv screen. The curtains were closed and the sound of the outside world was blocked out by thick walls. She felt trapped. As the world rotated, she thought she was still dreaming. But, unfortunately, she was very much awake. The blocking of sound outside lead to an eerie heightening of the sound within the room. She could hear the ash from Alex's blunt as it hit the ground. She could hear Graham biting his nails as he sat, curled up in a ball, his hair scruffy and a concerned expression on his face. He looked comfy on the bed, like he didn't want to leave. But then again, he looked totally uncomfortable, like this was his nightmare too, like this was the one place he didn't want to be. Justine sympathized with him. That's exactly how she felt too. The bedside lamps were still on but they were dim and they didn't make any difference. The door was open but she wasn't sure how to get to it with all the people awkwardly positioned, blocking the entrance. Half the room was freezing, it sprayed her front with cold air and she hugged herself to protect her chest from the breeze. The other half was boiling, it melted her back and made her feel sweaty. Alex's eyes scanned the room. They seemed to catch everything but at the same time they seemed to miss everything completely. The blunt was no longer being smoked. Alex hadn't lifted his cold white hands in hours and Justine wasn't sure whether he was breathing or not. His eyes were open and blinking but they weren't there. They panned the room, trying to make sense of his surroundings, but it appeared that he just saw darkness and emptiness. He didn't notice anything. He didn't see anything.  
Justine walked into the kitchen. Damon was sitting, arms crossed, his head snuggled in his arms. A needle lay limp on the table, dripping with heroin, pumped up and ready to go. But Justine didn't want to play today.  
“Morning, Darling.” She said in a kind and polite voice. But Damon said nothing in reply. She fetched a mug and a tea bag from the kitchen cupboard and turned on the kettle. She put the tea bag in the mug and poured the boiling water on top.  
She picked up the phone and called Donna.  
“Hi. Oh, nothing. It's just...” She took a pause to sigh deeply and swallow the lump in her throat, “can I come over today? Like, right now?”  
“Yeah, sure!” Donna replied.  
Dave watched her as she left the house.  
“Fuck this.” He said as he grudged back into his bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Justine walked down the street. She couldn't recognise any faces but she knew when a body was coming, coming to collide into her, knocking her into yet another car door, wall, anything. She was sent crashing into everything, bruising her hips and making the world shake from left to right and bounce around in her eyes. She sat on the tube, watching the lights flicker. The electronics weren't quite working, the metros from 2 days ago confused her so that she couldn't tell what day it was and everything was dead silent except for the eerie squeal of the tube train as it glided along the underground maze. It felt like the end of the world.

She got off at Camden Town and walked to Donna's house. The big red door loomed above her and she rung the doorbell and waited anxiously for a reply.  
“Come in!” She heard.  
It must have been open, then. She opened the door and went inside. Annie was covered in paint and was transferring a big buddha statue from one room to another.  
“Tea?” Donna asked.  
“No thanks, I already had some.” She replied, but then she remembered that she hadn't.  
She thought back to the cornflakes she had made herself that morning. Brownish milk from where the cornflakes had coloured it. The stench could be smelt for miles around. The bowl of wet cereal depressing in strange ways as it sat on the grey kitchen counter, just below the calender that was on the wrong month. Justine didn't know what month it was.  
“What month is it?” She asked Donna.  
“October”, Donna replied.  
She thought it was August. But then, it was strange for August. She hadn't noticed the snow that had made it's way right up her calf to her knee, her flares difficult to drag around for being to heavy. She realised that she hadn't left the house in months now. The thought left her cold. Blur.... sure, they were teenage heart-throbs but they were low-lifes. Justine had wasted her time. She had been waiting for something to happen. Or it might have happened while she was high in the atmosphere, in another universe. But she hadn't noticed it.

Donna turned the record player on. It was an Elastica record, the one she had been listening to prior to Justine's visit.  
Justine gritted her teeth together and the music grinded through her like a drill going right through her brain, and through her concrete skull. She had always hated her own music, if she was honest.  
They laughed and put on another record. This time, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me by The Cure. Like Cockatoos played in the background. Even in her state, Robert Smith's voice was distinct and instantly recognisable.

After a long but pleasant silence, Donna asked, “how's Damon?”  
“Hot.”  
“Anything else?”  
“No.”  
Justine talked in a monotone voice and gazed into the distance. Donna looked into her gazing eyes, looked into every nook and cranny.  
“You look as dull as Alex.” Said Donna.  
“Perhaps it's getting me, it's definitely contagious. I can sense it.”  
“What is?”  
“The attitude in that house. Where you just stare into thin air. Because everyone you hang out with, still loves you, and you have to be there for them, but it's like.... it's like they've turned to stone, Donna.”  
“I'm here, Justine.”  
“I know.”  
Donna kissed her on the cheek before leaving to go upstairs and get changed. Just a peck at first, and then again, a little harder this time, a long tender kiss on her velvet soft cheek. Justine closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the moment. But she had no idea what was happening. Maybe it was better that way? The kisses she normally received were so fucking boring. And the sex... it was so fucking predictable. Maybe what she needed was less.... dick.

Justine thought about it. Her head pounded in time with the solid thumps on the bedspread as Damon thrusted his penis into her, banging her head against the back wall with tedious repetition.

Justine woke up from her daydream. The sun seemed brighter and seemed to have a blue hue for some reason. The clock ticked and the vinyl buzzed silently. She didn't want to be alone for one second. She dragged her feet up the stairs to the landing and stood outside Donna's bedroom. She turned around. There was a mirror fitted to the wall on the other side. She looked herself up and down. Baggy clothes concealed her curves and her bones. And her scars. All of it. Maybe she needed to be concealed.  
“It's the fashion nowadays.” She murmured to herself.  
Donna had noticed her “admiring” herself in the mirror.  
“I wear black on the outside because black is what I feel on the inside.” She said in a stupid voice, mocking Justine.  
“Shut up.” Justine retorted, smiling.

Donna had left the door open. Justine could see the back of Donna, as she stretched her neck and sprayed perfume on it. She could see the sillhouette of her arched back against the light coming through the closed curtains. She could see her lips doing nothing. How could something look so sexy and perfect doing nothing? She stepped inside.  
Donna turned around, surprised.  
“Hi.” She croaked.  
“Hi.”  
Donna shrugged and took off her bra. Justine could see her breasts break free. They hung perfectly on her chest, they looked so naturally beautiful. But she couldn't think like that.  
“Hang on a minute, Donna!” She stuttered. “You're gonna-g-ah take y-your br-bra off in f-front of me-e?”  
“What's wrong with that? Don't you like my boobs?” Donna threatened, edging closer to Justine fiercely.  
“No, no. Your boobs are- uh- yeah- great- uh-”  
Justine thought that the only thing she could do would be to join in. So, without hesitation, she took off her top and bra. Donna looked at her as she did so, moving her snake-like hips as she struggled with her tight top. She would have looked back but she found it hard to move. She gazed lovingly at Justine's body.  
“What?” Justine asked, insecure.  
“Nothing, I just... nothing.” Donna replied quickly, trying to make up something on the spot.

They got changed quickly and akwardly before returning downstairs to sit, leaning against each other, watching the news.  
The story was about school children being shot in the middle east.  
“Tragic.” Justine whispered.  
Donna noticed the distressed look on her face and decided to just keep quiet. But sure enough the story changed to a local news story about agriculture and it seemed like a better opportunity to say something. She took a deep breath.  
“Justine?”  
“Mm?”  
“Did I ever tell you about this girl in my secondary school?”  
“Nah.”  
“Oh. Well, there was this girl in my secondary school. She used to wear this little tartan skirt and was always getting told off for it. But I would stare at her for hours. I shouldn't have stared at her like that but I did. And she must have known because she would turn and face me and give me the cheekiest, cutest grin. And I would flash bright red and laugh nervously. I was worried that she knew. I think she did, I was crazy trying to hide it but she never told anyone, it was almost as if she liked me back. Or whatever it was, she just accepted it. And that was great.”  
“Cool.” Justine nodded.  
“Anyway, I bumped into her yesterday. She's still well fit.” Donna sniggered, “But she's different. Justine, I don't think I'm going for people who don't like me back anymore. And I tried men. Men are so stupid. Men just wear their hearts on their sleeves. Just show your tits and they practically drool, bit like you today.”  
“What?! No I did not, you fuckin' cow!” Justine was sweating and her heart was pounding out of her chest. Donna knew she was looking at her. She fucking knew.  
“Oh my god. Don't try and hide it, it was so obvious, Justine.”  
“I didn't, I swear!”  
“I like you, Justine.”  
“No you don't.” Justine whispered, she refused to believe it.  
But Donna grabbed her by the shoulders and looked straight into her eyes.  
“Yes, I do.” “I don't know...” Justine whispered, almost silently.  
“What?”  
“I said... I said.... I like you too.” Justine smiled nervously.  
“Look at me.” Donna laughed.  
“No.” Justine said, stubbornly.  
“Look at me, Justine.” Donna demanded.  
“What?” Donna took her by the lips, hooked her and reeled her into a moment of relief.  
“I want to show you something.” Donna whispered, while Justine caught her breath just a little bit. Donna held out her hand and Justine took it willingly and let Donna lead her upstairs.

“What do you want to show me?”  
“I want to show you.... me. What I look like. Underneath. And I want to show you now.”  
“Okay.”  
Donna pushed Justine up against the door, slamming it shut, and kissed her softly, biting her lip and letting go gently. She lay her down on the bed. The gap between the time their bodies were parted gave Justine time to catch her breath, but not nearly enough.  
Donna threw off her clothes and kissed her once more on the lips before kissing her neck repeatedly, again and again and again.  
“Oh god.” She whispered. “Justine, you're just so-”  
Now using her tongue and teeth a little more, she kissed Justine's neck hard. She could feel Justine's neck stretching under her lips, she could feel all the bones and muscles in her neck under her tongue as it touched her tenderly and then slid down to her collar bone. She placed kisses along Justine's collar bone slowly. She wanted to give Justine a chance to breath, a chance to talk. In between each kiss, Justine spoke, “Ah. I've been waiting so long for this. Kiss me. Fucking kiss me. Fuck me.” Donna did as she commanded and dragged her lips down to the flat space on her chest, between her breasts. She wrapped her mouth around each nipple, one after the other, and sucked until they were hard. Donna held herself up a little and moved her way down the bed, planting kisses down Justine's chest, stomach. Justine breathed harder and harder as she anticipated what was to happen next. Donna kissed along her panty line and the place where her hips met her thighs, teasing Justine. She stuck her tongue out and began to go for her clitoris. Justine moaned. Donna could feel her wriggling underneath her grip. Justine's clitoris throbbed but Donna went in harder, gripping her clitoris with her tongue and refusing to let go, however much Justine begged her to stop. But then she did stop. And she slid her way up to Justine's neck and kissed it again as her fingers fiddled with her.  
“Stop.” Justine said, seriously.  
Donna stopped.  
Then Justine began kissing Donna's neck. She grabbed Donna's arm and moved her head all the way down it, kissing it all over and back up again. She sat up and moved back, up the bed, she was no longer hanging over Donna's head anymore. She ducked down and replicated Donna's moves on her. She did it passionately and didn't stop. Justine moaned, she enjoyed the moment thoroughly. She kissed Donna's legs. She followed the curves of her legs, oh how beautiful they were. She did it all again, she wanted to do it again. She never wanted to stop. This was where she wanted to be. They sat up and gazed into each other's eyes for just a second before their lips collided and they were kissing again. Donna kissed Justine's back, she leant over her shoulder and kissed her neck. Justine breathed and smiled. She had never felt such bliss before in her life. Justine turned her head and they kissed again. “Let me do it again.”Justine breathed, her lips inches from Donna's.  
“Again?”  
“Again.”  
Donna lay herself down and felt only fumbling as Justine was all over her. Donna screamed and begged her to stop. But Justine didn't want to stop. Even when she stopped doing oral, she fought Donna over kisses and eventually the light came back into the room and they just lay there together, for a very short while.

They got up. Donna left the room but Justine lingered there, in front of the mirror. She looked at herself again, naked. All the curves and bones. All the scars. “They must have looked awful even while she couldn't see me”, she thought to herself, “difficult not to notice even in the heat of the moment.”  
“You look beautiful.” Donna said from the the landing.  
“Thanks.” Justine mumbled, caught off guard. She actually beleived it that time. She actually felt it. Sometimes, when Damon said it, she didn't feel anything at all.  
She left the house, not saying anything, it was too odd. What should she say? Goodbye? Thanks for having me? She had plenty of experience in leaving people's houses after sex but she still felt awkward and shy.

She reached the front door of her house. She sighed. She didn't want to be there. She unlocked the front door slowly and stepped inside. There was mouldy food from breakfast and her spilt tea all over the kitchen counter. Damon was breathing but he hadn't moved an inch since she left. Alex was standing there, staring at the mess on the kitchen counter motionlessly and could not be awoken. He was obviously seeing something much more entertaining than what he could see in real life.  
“It might actually be more fun in Alex's hallucinations than here.” Justine thought to herself.  
It was the first time she had ever felt any sympathy towards Alex.  
She went to bed.

She didn't sleep that night. She felt Damon crawl into bed next to her and limply try to kiss her neck but it was sloppy and gross and he really didn't get very far before he was lying on her, snoring loudly.  
The next day, she got a call from Donna, asking her to come round. She remembered the time they had together. She looked at Damon and her house. It wasn't what she wanted but it was what she had to go with. There wasn't any option. This was where she belonged. This is where she needed to be. She was meant to marry Damon and go on their honeymoon to an interesting part of the world where Damon and her would do very uninteresting things. She went round anyway, she felt like she owed it to Donna and she didn't want to seem like a bitch.

Donna offered her a cup of coffee and a biscuit.  
“Sure.” Justine said lamely as her nerves kicked in, kicked her hard in the stomach, making her feel queezy in the weirdest way.  
They ate biscuits and drank coffee and watched Live 'n' Kicking on Donna's tiny TV screen. Nothing had happened yet. Nothing at all.  
“Maybe it will be alright after all.” Justine thought.  
But halfway through the show, Donna crept over to Justine and began to kiss her neck softly. Justine's brain became muddled like spagetti. Close your eyes. Don't close your eyes. Oh, but it feels so good. No, no it does not. It feels right. But it's totally wrong. Do what makes you happy. Do what you need to do. Get out now.  
Justine kissed her lips hard and left sharply. She knew she couldn't be there any longer.

Elastica were playing a gig the next day. Justine looked at the flyer stuck to the telephone pole. She walked around, unsteady as the world span round and round. Her brain was turning this way and that. She didn't know what to do.

She slammed the front door. Damon was sitting there, staring at her. Justine took a deep breath.  
“Hi.” She said, though tears were streaming down her face.  
“What's wrong?”  
“Oh. Nothing.”  
“Justine.”  
“I'm just... I'm just tired.  
“Justine?”  
“What?! Damon, I'm just tired!”  
“D'you want some wine?”  
“Yes please.”  
Damon began to pour her a glass.  
“Just give me the bottle.” She demanded.  
Damon handed her the big bottle of wine and watched her in awe as she drank quarter of it in one go.  
“Woah.” He said. “Stressed?”  
“Oh, just shut up!”  
“Alright, alright. God, what the fuck did I do?”  
“Nothing, Damon, just stay out of it!”  
“Sorry.”  
“It's fine.”  
“Are you sure you're okay?”  
“I'm fine.” Justine said sternly.  
Damon looked at her, concerned. But he knew that there was nothing more he could do. He sighed and watched on as she threw a trantrum in the middle of the room. She took another large sip and spat it out, coughing and rubbing her tongue to try and get the taste out.  
“Damon, where the fuck did you get that wine from?!” She yelled as she waved for a glass of water.  
Damon hurriedly fetched her a glass of water from the tap.  
“I made it.” He said.  
“You made it?”  
“Yeah. My dad used to do it.”  
“Damon, your dad's a fucking nutter, it's fucking disgusting.”  
“Maybe I did it wrong.”  
Suddenly, they burst into fits of laughter.  
“Maybe.” She said.

That night, Justine lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. As her eye ached more and more, patterns grew and evolved in the pitch black and danced on the ceiling. She couldn't sleep. She looked at Damon. Damon was fast asleep. He had it easy. She didn't see Damon falling for any of his bandmates. Well, actually, nobody could even guess what was going on behind closed doors between Graham and Damon.

The next day, she called up the venue and called off the gig. After several cigarettes, glasses of whiskey, an Indian take out and about 15 episodes of Cheers later, she called Donna. She lay in her bed and at around nine, when Damon was still out, Donna entered her bedroom like a bad spirit in the middle of the night.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah. I am. I think I've recovered.”  
“That's good. I was worried about you.” Donna told her.  
Oh god. That didn't make her feel guilty at all....  
“Ugh god. Alright. Donna?”  
“What's up?”  
“I lied. I'm not really sick. It's just that after what happened between us.... I can't do this Donna... it would be too akward being onstage and backstage with you. It would just be too weird.”  
“You don't want it. That's fine.”  
“No, but I do. Donna, I really do.”  
“Well then why don't you let yourself do it?”  
“Because I can't fall for you, Donna! I have man. His name's Damon. I can't be with you!”  
“'Course you can! You really believe that you should do what you don't want to do... for your man's sake?!”  
“Yeah. Exactly.”  
“Justine...”  
“You don't understand, Donna!”  
“You don't love me...”  
“I do. I just...”  
“You just what?”  
“I can't.” She cried.  
“Do it one last time.”  
So they lay down. They were all over each other. Justine saw a blur of skin, a mix of colour and light. A complete mess of the senses. And she heard exactly what she wanted to hear. They fought over each other as they tried to kiss each other's neck. Justine gripped onto Donna as she kissed every inch of her body, every single bit of it. Donna thought for breath and Justine felt Donna as she did the same, fighting for breath, wishing for it never to end, enjoying it for one last night.

And it really was the last night.

But she always remembered it. On stage, when she winked at Donna and smiled a knowing smile. When she kissed Damon backstage and caught sight of Donna staring. When she was high as kite and her heart pounded in time to the sensation of the bed springs that she felt that night. When she was low and she melted in time to the sensation of Donna's lips all over her frail neck and collar bones.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed reading this! If you didn't enjoy it, sorry for wasting your time.


End file.
